Our return to Salamanca signaled the end of our journey in Europe. GLaDOS no longer needed our mercenary services and provided us a cake, as promised, on our last day together. She took us to the Cielo de Salamanca, a dome painted with the heroes of mythology, where I could finally make tribute to Zeus. I am sure he will watch over us in the coming days as we prepare to leave. With so many new contacts around the world, I am sure that Kayla of Florida and I will be safe from the Spartans on our return home and in the future.

After the horse ambush in Salamanca, Kayla of Florida and I fled to Portugal to throw the Spartans off our scent. I was confident I could protect us from another surprise attack, but to guarantee our safety, GLaDOS sent Perry the Platypus to join us in Lisbon. Although fleeing the Spartans was my main concern, Kayla of Florida also required a safe place to recover from her injuries. Lisbon seemed an ideal location for our needs and was only a short flight away in another metal bird.

We spent the first morning in Lisbon walking through the city center. Kayla of Florida purchased several Portuguese custard tarts to keep her energy levels high, but I was too focused on examining our surroundings for signs of the Spartans. Perry the Platypus joined us near the river in the afternoon where we feasted on traditional cod for lunch. I was concerned that the Spartans had infiltrated the kitchen where the cod was prepared because Perry the Platypus kept finding dangerously large bones in his meal. Perry the Platypus assured me that finding bones in codfish was typical in Lisbon. Still concerned, I persuaded Kayla of Florida to order a beef meal at dinner. The three of us then boarded a small boat at sunset to view the city from a new perspective. I kept note of potential places the Spartans could easily access from the river.

By the second morning, I was certain that the Spartans had not followed us, so I searched for ways to make a few extra drachmae before our return to Salamanca. Several people offered us handsome rewards in return for stealing any of the animals from the Lisbon Aquarium. We attempted to capture a rare octopus, but I could not penetrate its glass cage with my sword. The sea otters lived in a cageless environment, but I was not strong enough to carry them; the mates would hold paws in an attempt to stay together, and two otters were too heavy to kidnap. Kayla of Florida and I then snuck into a tourist food outing to avoid spending more drachmae on ourselves. The guide never questioned our presence, so we enjoyed several traditional meals before meeting again with Perry the Platypus. We ended the night with a viewing of “Lisbon Under the Stars” to learn about Lisbon’s recovery after the 1755 earthquake. After learning about the destruction from the disaster, I was grateful Sparta had never experienced such tragedy.

After the incident at the Salamanca Cave, Kayla of Florida needed some time away from Spain and took me on a brief holiday to Amsterdam. She encouraged me to recuperate from our recent adventures by setting aside my quests for drachmae, and while it was difficult to do so, our time in the Netherlands was very rewarding. Taking a short vacation is exactly the opposite of what the Spartans would think I would do, so I saw no harm in agreeing to her wishes. And of course, she is providing her services almost entirely free of charge; she deserves more than just ice cream as compensation for her hard work.

We began our weekend trip at the Albert Cuyp Market eating stroopwaffles and freshly squeezed orange juice. I kept hoping Kayla of Florida would stop for a more substantial meal, but she was satisfied with her pastries, so I quietly stole a chicken off a hot spit. We trekked to the Rijksmuseum and Van Gogh Museum once our bellies were full, where I struggled not to abscond with the priceless paintings of Rembrandt and Monet. Perhaps I will return here with the notorious Trevor of Canada, another of GLaDOS’s handpicked mercenaries; I have heard many stories of his perilous (but successful!) attempts to steal valuable items. Our guide, the giant Marjoke of Amsterdam, told us the tales behind many of Van Gogh’s paintings and the controversy behind his sudden death. I think the mystery behind his death is due to the Spartans; they were well aware of how famous he would become, so they must have devised a scheme to obtain his paintings and fill their pockets with drachmae. I will have to send a message to the leaders here in Amsterdam to explain my concerns, but I kept those thoughts to myself on the tour so as not to upset Kayla of Florida. I didn’t want to give the Spartans another reason to target her during our time abroad.

Our short holiday ended with a day trip to Giethoorn, a quaint, quiet town where very few metal beasts roamed with giants riding in their bellies. The giants who lived there had to cross many bridges or push small gondolas across a narrow river to travel around the town or to arrive at their homes. While the homes were beautiful and the weather much cooler than Spain, I could only think about how difficult an escape would be should the Spartans have tracked us to Giethoorn. I kept one hand on my sword throughout our trip, preparing for the worst. Mike of Finland, the giant leading the Giethoorn excursion, assured me that Giethoorn was one of the safest places in all of Amsterdam. He obviously has never encountered a Spartan legion before.

Kayla of Florida and I eluded the Spartans on our trip to Amsterdam, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t still following us. We must continue to look for them on our trip back to Spain and on any other future journeys to other European countries.

Today, the Spartans were not my only concern in Salamanca. The mercenaries and I began our day with GLaDOS much like any other, but on this fateful day, we journeyed through the Huerto de Calixto y Melibea to the Cave of Salamanca. I fell victim to the beauty of the lush garden plants, letting my guard down as we were led to the cave. Suddenly, we had arrived, and a dark cloud hung above the group of mercenaries as we observed our surroundings. Our guide, Manuel of Salamanca, spoke of a dangerous demon within the cave that could steal shadows off unlucky visitors. While many of the other mercenaries seemed taken aback by the tale, I was unfazed. Stealing shadows? How dangerous could this demon possibly be? I would later come to regret these thoughts as we continued on our adventure.

We briefly looked around the cave, which was much smaller than I had imagined. It was perhaps three giants high and the mercenaries had to stand very close together to fit inside. Again, I wondered how the tales of this demon could be so notorious if his lair was so small…but then Manuel of Salamanca led us up a tall, winding staircase. The staircase seemed to grow as we continued climbing, and even with all of my climbing expertise, the ground below seemed very far away. When we had finally reached the top, Manuel of Salamanca gestured to a stone crypt at the far end of the room. Before I could reach for my sword, Kayla of Florida looked within the crypt, allowing the demon to capture her and hold her hostage. She let out a fearful cry for help as the other mercenaries and I quickly ran to her aid.

None of the mercenaries had any experience fighting demons. We all exchanged terrified glances as we hurriedly tried to create a plan of attack. I had no idea if my sword could possibly do any damage to such a creature, and for the first time in many years, I was unsure if I could save my friend. As I chastised myself for being unprepared, GLaDOS revealed two colorful weapons with sharp spikes. She threw them at the crypt, and an agonizing scream sounded from far below, and the demon set Kayla of Florida free. Shocked at how quickly the situation was resolved, I thanked GLaDOS for freeing my friend and pledged to never again question her authority or her actions.

The weather was unspeakably hot today on my quest to Madrid. GLaDOS had previously informed me that there existed an exquisite crystal palace at the heart of the city, so I braved the heat with Kayla of Florida to search for valuables. To my dismay, there were no precious jewels or other crystals at the palace, only strange stone carvings of giants that stood silently while tourists flocked around them. Kayla of Florida and I found solace in the shade of the trees once we realized there was no drachmae to be earned.

GLaDOS kindly offered the mercenaries a day of exploration in the city of Segovia and Avila at no expense. Although the cities were only a short distance away, the excursion must have cost her much drachmae. Her generosity leads me to believe that she is not as devious as I once thought her to be. This may yet turn out to be a very profitable relationship.

The mercenaries and I rode in another strange metal beast that swallowed us whole and spit us out at each destination. We first arrived on a grassy hill to relieve ourselves and bask in the glory of the Alcázar de Segovia, a magnificent castle which originally existed as a Roman fort. I spent very little time mingling with the other mercenaries because the hill was too exposed; the Spartans would have easily had the upper hand if I had been found. I took shelter with Kayla of Florida and another giant, Diedelot of Utrecht, in the shade of a nearby forest, where we waited until the metal beast was ready to depart once more.

Upon arrival in Segovia, I climbed the aqueduct in search of water, only to find that it was completely dry! The people of Segovia have kept it as a symbol of the city and as a relic of the Roman influence in Spain. Disappointed, I descended the structure and joined the mercenaries as they journeyed toward the castle. I stopped again momentarily to try and capture a wild peacock near the main grounds of the Alcázar. I had heard that their feathers were very valuable to wealthy travelers in Europe, and the idea of a few extra drachmae in my pocket was enticing. My attempt at capture was futile; the other mercenaries were too noisy and sent the peacock running… another example of why I prefer to work alone.

The expedition ended shortly thereafter in Avila, where we observed the birthplace and historical artifacts of St. Teresa. The experience gave interesting insight into the thoughts and beliefs of the European giants, but they are still too close-minded to accept the true gods and hail Zeus as the almighty. Perhaps I can use their foolishness to my advantage in future quests in Spain.

Flan con mango, paella, helado de naranja y frambuesa, y tapas! I have tried to help Kayla of Florida find sources of nourishment other than chocolate. These are only a few of the foods we have shared during our time here. The menus in Spain are much more diverse than those in Sparta. We also enjoy nightly “tapas” where we eat small plates of many different items to replace a typical dinner meal. I always feel much more refreshed and full of energy after a night of tapas touring.

GLaDOS accompanied the mercenaries to the Spanish Civil War Museum this afternoon. It appears that she wants to encourage alliances among us, but any sort of companionship is dangerous in the mercenary world. I have made a special exception for Kayla of Florida because she travels with me voluntarily and takes occasional payment in chocolates instead of drachmae. I am sure that the other mercenaries would not be as easy to pay off in the event of a successful quest.

Although we did not make a formal pact, I spoke with Toad of Mushroom Kingdom regarding his previous experience as a mercenary for GLaDOS. Toad reassured me that her promise of chocolate cake will be fulfilled despite the lies the newly hired recruits may believe. I will have to keep a close eye on Toad; he seems the type to root for anyone that is his companion.

The museum was well stocked with historical relics and authentic war weapons. I took a special interest in the bladesmith exhibit that displayed the impressive swords of the Spanish Civil War era. Spartan swords are still far superior to these, but I could always use an auxiliary. Perhaps I will return to retrieve a sword if the Spartans continue to follow me.

The weapons display led to a strange red room where many men sat with cloths covering their faces. Manuel of Salamanca informed the group that these men were part of a formidable alliance called the “Spanish Illuminati.” At the height of their power, these men were feared by all and would kill those who challenged their rank. I must speak to Manuel privately about these men. If they are still present in Spain, I am sure that the Spartans will work with them to find me.

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GLaDOS requested a formal meeting with the mercenaries today to discuss upcoming quest expectations. She assured us that our time and efforts would be rewarded generously with drachmas and chocolate cake. I have no doubt that Kayla I’d Florida was particularly pleased to hear about the chocolate cake, but the other mercenaries and I were skeptical that a machine could have access to these resources. We exchanged hesitant glances with one another when GLaDOS completed her orientation. I just must consult the gods about my suspicions later. Perhaps Hermes will know more about GLaDOS and her true intentions.

When the meeting adjourned, GLaDOS instructed us to explore the Catedral de Salamanca, an ornate place of worship and national monument of the city. The tall towers would have made for excellent climbing, but sacred birds nested at the top of each, making it impossible for me to make any attempt at ascension. Instead, I sought out the other revered artifacts of the Catedral. Manuel, the giant tour guide, joined us again in our journey and recounted the story of the earthquake that shook the town and the Catedral. He said that although the earthquake was strong and caused much despair among the residents, the Catedral remained mostly intact. I was astounded that such an old structure could withstand such great shaking from the restless gods below the ground. I slipped away from the rest of the group in search of the original tower sketches. Structure outlines such as these would be a valuable asset to sell to the right person for the right price.