The journey from Paris to Spain was much worse than expected. Now, after two negative experiences in large metal birds, I have realized how poorly giants can treat one another. Their petty arguments remind me of the Spartans… I am very glad to have befriended such a friendly, hospitable giant like Kayla of Florida.

When we arrived at the flock of metal birds, Kayla of Florida graciously offered to send my belongings to our final destination. I was unsure if this was a wise decision because many of my weapons were hidden in my pack… the Spartans tracking me could have easily followed us to the flock. However, we made the decision thinking it would save us time in finding our bird to Spain. We were mistaken. Kayla of Florida stood among the other giants for 90 long minutes as she attempted to transfer my bag. I am indebted to her once again and will purchase crepes or other chocolate delicacies for her as an apology.

Once the giants took their resting places for the journey, the bird sat in its flock for quite some time. It was unclear if the bird was hungry or required medical attention, but nevertheless, we were urged to remain seated in its hot belly until liftoff could be achieved. This created unfortunate circumstances for Kayla of Florida; she desperately needed to relieve herself after consuming much water while waiting to transfer my belongings. The giants in command of the bird denied her access to the relief area, so I followed one of the giants and demanded that she be given permission. (My knives may or may not have been used at this time.) Kayla of Florida was soon able to relieve herself without opposition from the other giants.

The metal bird must have been fed a hearty feast before liftoff because we landed in Spain very quickly. Kayla of Florida and I were happy to depart the flock and rest for the next few hours. We quietly examined our surroundings for evidence of Spartans before laying down to sleep, but there was nothing suggesting we had been followed.

We were given precise instructions for meeting GLaDOS at the metal flock before leaving Paris. After regaining our energy from the uncomfortable flight, we completed our rendezvous and were introduced to several other mercenaries from GLaDOS’s handpicked group. Some members of this group were very strange animals, but Kayla of Florida reassured me that GLaDOS would not hire them if they were unworthy. GLaDOS offered each of us 5 additional drachmae if we were able to find the “frog of Salamanca,” so we all departed the flock and made way for Salamanca.

It was not long before a bilingual resident of Salamanca, Manuel, was able to provide the group with directions to “La Rana de Salamanca.” When we arrived at the designated location, I looked around in haste, hoping to find the frog before the other mercenaries. Working alone soon proved futile, so I called upon Kayla of Florida and the other group members to aid me in my search. Our quest was soon completed! Carved into part of an elaborate wall, the frog rested atop a skeleton’s head at the University of Salamanca.

It was an easy 5 drachmae compared to many other quests I have completed. It will be interesting to see what GLaDOS has planned for our future here in Spain. Until then, ciao!

Nancy of Florida, another friendly giant, offered us much drachmae if we accompanied her on a riverboat across the Seine. She knew that I was favored by Zeus, and as such, she assumed that Poseidon would also protect on the journey across his domain. After completing the quest, Nancy of Florida bid us farewell and asked the gods to bless us in our future travels.

Once we departed the riverboat, Kayla of Florida and I made our way to another metal bird to depart for the country of Spain. I have heard that much drachmae can be earned by completing quests for GLaDOS, another odd metal creation of the giant species. If so, I am sure GLaDOS and I will have much to discuss in Spain.

Once I realized the Spartans followed me to Paris, I knew I needed to find a vantage point to see the whole city from above. Ikaros was exhausted from flying above the Jardin du Luxembourg, so it was up to Kayla of Florida and me to spy on our enemies. I scaled the first two floors quickly, but I had to hide among the chattering giants until Kayla of Florida climbed the stairs. While she has been a great help to me in Paris, I am sure she has eaten too many crepes on our drachmae journey. I think she has spent more drachmae on chocolate than we have earned on my missions. Perhaps climbing the tower tonight will teach her a valuable lesson.

As Kayla of Florida and I traveled the streets of Paris, Ikaros suddenly warned me that several Spartan men were on the move behind us. We ran into the Jardin du Luxembourg, dodging the giants and their screaming children. To our right, we noticed an area full of dense hedges speckled with shadows from the trees above. We sheltered here until Ikaros verified that our area was safe again.

After my great victory at Versailles, Kayla of Florida and I knew that we should make a tribute to the mighty Zeus. We traveled in another metal snake to find an altar on which to make a sacrifice. The snake’s belly was hot and full of other giants, but we finally emerged from the heat and arrived at a house of worship, the L’eglise de la Madeleine. To my dismay, there was no place to offer treasure or sacrifice to the god of gods! Statues of winged giants, much like Hermes, were scattered throughout the elaborate building, and when I scaled the tall pillars to look at the walls, I noticed carvings depicting the story of a giant-god, “Jesus.” This giant must have been powerful if he had no godly features like wings! But surely Zeus is the most powerful of the gods, even in comparison to a giant-god. Kayla of Florida and I disappeared into the belly of the metal snake to find another place to offer our thanks and praise.

• 

• 

By the third day in Paris, I had not acquired any additional drachmae since stealing from the giants in the metal bird. The defeat of the crab at the aquarium provided a brief feeling of success, but I was anxious to prove myself to Zeus again. Overwhelmed with these feelings and with the looming concern of the Spartans, I decided to take Kayla of Florida away from Paris to search for another drachmae quest. Ikaros had found a golden palace not far from our sleeping accommodations, so we boarded another metal beast, this time a metal snake, toward the town of Versailles.

In the embellished rooms of the Versailles Palace, I found a handwritten note by King Louis XVI himself! Written shortly before his beheading with Marie Antoniette, he implored that the discoverer of his note defeat the malevolent giant, Enceladus, who had been wreaking havoc in his beloved garden for hundreds of years. If defeated, he said, the brave warrior would find treasure beyond comparison in the rose garden just beyond the palace fountains. Overjoyed at the thought of filling my pockets with drachmae again, I persuaded Kayla of Florida to join me on this perilous quest to find Enceladus.

We walked for many miles throughout the extensive palace garden, grateful for the shade the tall trees provided on the hot day. Upon turning a corner into the statue pavillion, we spotted Enceladus resting in the sunlight. I urged Kayla of Florida to distract Enceladus while I scaled the ivy-ridden garden walls. I lept from stone to stone in the pond, careful not to disturb the water and send ripples toward the preoccupied giant. Unprepared for a sudden breeze, the wind blew my scent in Enceladus’s direction, giving away my position. The giant turned toward me, an enormous boulder in hand, but Kayla of Florida was prepared! She ripped a strong strand of ivy from the wall and tied Enceladus’s free hand behind him. Unable to balance and throw the boulder, Enceladus was left vulnerable to my sword.

As I watched the life drain out of Enceladus’s eyes, clouds began to cover the Sun, and a bolt of lightning struck down from the heavens. Zeus had turned Enceladus into bronze, forever condemning his body to be mocked by the giants at Versailles. I wiped my sword clean of blood and joined Kayla of Florida again, pleased with myself and happy that Zeus had seen my success.

Kayla of Florida and I returned to the palace after recovering the drachmae in the rose garden. I spent much time in Marie Antoniette’s bedroom looking for misplaced drachmae; many of the giants spoke of her obsession with luxurious items and other expensive treasures. I considered following a group of giants to the Petit Trianon, one of Marie Antoniette’s favorite places to escape her royal duties. Although the thought of Marie’s drachmae was enticing, the day was growing too hot again, and the other giants among us were unpleasant and uncultured. We departed Versailles in the belly of the metal snake again and made our way back to La Villa Maillot.

After an unsuccessful drachmae quest at the Musee du Lourve, Kayla of Florida and I desperately sought a place providing shade and water. We found solace at the Paris Aquarium, but we were suddenly ambushed by Monsieur Crab after rounding a dark corner! In a swift attack, I took my swords and cracked open the monster’s shell, revealing his soft innards, and laid a fatal blow. Surely the mighty Zeus will be impressed by this quick turn of events!

I was determined to make more drachmae on our second day in Paris, but stealing priceless artifacts from Parisian museums proved more difficult than stealing drachmae from giants in the metal bird. Kayla of Florida informed me that Da Vinci’s painting at the Musee de Louvre was possibly the most valuable in the world. Despite my years of stealth training, there was no way I could get closer to the famous Mona Lisa painting undetected. Many giants yielding large weapons stood guard throughout the museum, making it impossible to consider any action but looking from afar.

• 

• 

Kayla of Florida commanded a strange metal bird that flew us across an enormous ocean of water to our first destination: Paris. The view was similar to the one which I share with Ikaros, but my beloved eagle flies much more smoothly. I easily hid among the other belongings of giants, and I spent my time collecting their unusual drachmae. Although Kayla of Florida warned me about the consequences of stealing while we traveled in the metal bird, I thought nothing of it. All the other giants were foul-smelling and made my hiding spot shake when they stood up from their resting places. I could hear how loudly they chewed from where I concealed myself, and I began to wonder how Kayla of Florida could be from the same species. Perhaps I will earn enough drachmae in Paris so Kayla of Florida and I can command a metal bird without other giants when we travel again.

After much unnecessary shaking and noise-making, the great metal bird landed among its flock. The metal bird departed in the early afternoon, so I was startled to realize that the Sun was only just beginning to rise in Paris! Kronos must have worked with the giants to create these metal bird contraptions if they can control time… Kayla of Florida first took me to the Arc de Triomphe, where I paid my respects to the brave, unknown soldier buried below the cobblestone street. Here, I learned about the great battles from the Napoleonic Wars and the French Revolution. Perhaps I can use Napoleon’s tactics in my future mercenary missions! The giants of Paris said that he was a great commander in their army long ago, although very stout in comparison to other military leaders. Being so much smaller than Kayla of Florida and the other giants, I felt a special connection with this Napoleon.

I required nourishment after spending many hours in the metal bird, so Kayla of Florida used her drachmae to purchase “crepes.” I felt no nutritional gain from eating this odd Parisian food, but it did have a remarkable taste. The crepe was filled with chocolate, which was a delicacy in Sparta. Kayla of Florida must have used much drachmae to provide crepes for me. I offered to give her the stolen drachmae I found in the metal bird, but she refused. I must repay her in our future travels… She seemed to thoroughly enjoy the crepes, so I am sure that providing her additional crepes and chocolates during our quests in Paris will be sufficient payment.

The afternoon grew unbearably hot after eating our crepes, so we departed for our nearby sleeping accommodations at La Villa Maillot. Kayla of Florida ensured that our arrangments were very comfortable, and I asked the goddess Khione to provide our room cold air to relieve us from the outside heat. We soon realized the extent of our weariness and laid down to rest. Our first day in Paris was certainly successful, but I continue to grow more concerned about the Spartans finding our location.